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Don't Take Your Marriage for Granted!

Sometime back, I was out with some girlfriends when the conversation turned to marriage. Being passionate about the topic, I couldn’t resist contributing. One of my friends, who is preparing for a sacramental marriage after over a decade with her partner, shared an interesting observation about my husband and I:

“I used to think the Kazibwes were too serious about marriage. I didn’t realize how much there was to learn until I started the marriage preparatory classes. In just two sessions, we’ve learned things we never knew in over a decade together, even though we thought we knew it all. I now understand that investing time in learning about marriage is crucial.”

Today, it’s hard to go a day without hearing something negative about marriage. From domestic violence cases to TikTok videos that, while humorous, often cast marriage in a negative light, lamentations about marriage are increasingly common. While divorce rates are particularly high in Western societies like the USA and Europe, they are also rising in Sub-Saharan Africa. In Uganda, for instance, around 50 couples legally divorce each year. However, many more couples separate without formal divorce proceedings. Some live under the same roof but lead separate lives, while others may even share a bed yet are emotionally disconnected.

Despite these challenges, many couples continue to get married every week. The abundance of dating apps and the frequent prayer requests for a marriage partner are clear signs that marriage is a divine institution, one that is not about to disappear. Marriage is a great gift and a blessing, starting in Genesis and continuing through to Revelation. This is why it should not be taken for granted. God expects us to make the right decision about marriage the first time because it’s meant to last a lifetime (Matthew 19:8).

Couples at the 2024 Couples' Getaway organised by the Couple Binders

Here are 3 steps we can take to help change the current trends:

Support couples to date well: Dating is a crucial time for laying the foundation for a strong marriage. Many failing marriages began with dysfunctional dating relationships. Young couples need guidance to date well and have the hard conversations that matter.
Adjust your mindset: Believe that a great marriage is possible. Stay away “from the divorce mentality.” Understand that good marriages don’t just happen—they require work. Be willing to invest in your relationship by growing in the virtues of love, as described in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8.
Invest in continuous learning: We prepare for our careers through education, but often neglect to learn about marriage and parenting. There’s a common misconception that love alone will carry a couple through all of life’s challenges. However, loving is a skill that must be developed. Fortunately, we live in an age where information is readily available, but many don’t take advantage of it. Learning equips you with essential skills for a thriving marriage, such as communication, intentionality, intimacy, and financial management. Attending marriage events is a great way to continue learning—you’ll always come away with something valuable.

If you focus on your marriage, it will stay strong. If you neglect it, it will gradually weaken. Ignore it long enough, and one day you may find yourself wondering what went wrong.

Lucy Peace Nantume

Lucy is a wife, mother, daughter, and friend striving to serve God with her whole life. She is a lawyer with expertise in human rights. Together with her husband, Ronald Kazibwe, they are passionate about helping couples to thrive in their marriages. They are “The Couple Binders.” Visit their website www.thecouplebinders.com for more details about them and what they do.

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