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Growing into your Marriage

Gary Chapman once said, “in marriage, it is never having my own way, it is rather discovering our way. Dave Meurer added, “a great marriage is not when the 'perfect couple' comes together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences."

Marriage is a school of life

Science has taught us that all living things grow and change and so are couples in a marriage. The beauty is that evolution has demonstrated that organisms pass their favourable traits to their offspring.

Studies, research and couples have widely left enormous information passed on over time on the pathways couples can adopt to grow into their marriage to match and fulfil the changing needs of their spouses.

Young couples today don’t have to struggle with the challenges their fore folks endured because all this information is readily available either in literature, blogs, retreats & seminars or with experienced older couples.

It’s important for couples to remember that, “For those called to the vocation of marriage, it is a school of life”. Marriage teaches us about ourselves and others, how to make and maintain good relationships, how to develop character and virtue, and how to love those whom God gives us as family.”

Lucy Peace Nantume and Ronald Kazibwe at a couples event

Learn, unlearn, relearn

For couples to enjoy their differences and discover “our way”, and grow into their marriage, they must be willing to go to learn, unlearn and relearn from the favourable traits passed on by evolution over the years.

Lucy and I discovered this early in our relationship and chose to attend a seminar for couples planning to get married. It was an eye opener on how much we had to give up of ourselves to become one. When we started the mandatory church premarital sessions, we realised that they were never going to be enough for the call to the marriage vocation.

We identified a couple that shared more insights. This couple has continued to be a blessing to our marriage calling. At our wedding, they gifted us a book, “His Needs Her Needs”. We still find it relevant today as we grow into our marriage in addition to more literature we have read over the years.

We intentionally invest in our marriage by being part of positive couple spaces like retreats, seminars and celebrations. There is always something to learn and enjoy. At another time, we attended a 6 months married love course offered by Strathmore University. It was enriching. We even graduated after the course!

You too can do this; the resources out there are enormous. As the old adage goes, “you don’t have to reinvent the wheel in your marriage”. If you find yourself in this pitfall of confusion about the evolving needs of your spouse; reach out to the couple binders (www.thecouplebinders.com). We shall point you into the right direction and support you to grow into your marriage.

Ronald Kazibwe

Ronald is a social worker with expertise in child development. Together with his wife, Lucy Peace Nantume, they are passionate about helping couples to thrive in their marriages. They are “The Couple Binders.” Visit their website www.thecouplebinders.com for more details about them and what they do.

About this blog

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