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Start Within. How Couples Can Grow Their Relationship During Lent

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Lent comes every year with familiar invitations:
Fast. Pray. Give. Repent.

And many couples approach it the same way; giving up sugar, reducing social media, attending more church services, and committing to daily Mass. All beautiful things.

But what if this Lent, instead of focusing first on what is outside of us, we started within?

Because the truth is; most marital struggles are not caused by what we eat, what we post, or how busy we are. They are rooted in the interior life - attitudes, pride, wounds, expectations, ego, and unhealed patterns.

Lent is not only about discipline.
It is about transformation and transformation begins inside.

Here are some ideas on how to better your relationship during lent.

1. Fast from attitudes that hurt your marriage

Most couples know how to fast from food.
Few couples think about fasting from:

Constant criticism
Sarcasm disguised as humor
Silent treatment
Score-keeping
The need to always win arguments

What if this Lent you said:

“Lord, show me what in me is hurting my marriage.”

That prayer alone can change a home.

Fasting from negativity is harder than fasting from meat.
But it bears more fruit.

2. Pray together, even if it feels awkward

Many couples love God.
Not all couples pray together.

Lent is the perfect time to begin small.

You do not need long spiritual speeches.

Start with:

One decade of the Rosary
A short spontaneous prayer
Reading one Gospel passage and sharing one sentence that touched you

Remember what Scripture says in Ecclesiastes 4:12: A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

Marriage was never meant to be two people trying harder.
It is two people walking with God.

Awkward beginnings often become powerful habits.

3. Examine your own heart before correcting your spouse

During Lent, we are invited to self-examination.

But in marriage, we often examine our spouse first.

“He needs to change.”
“She is too emotional.”
“If only they would…”

What if we flipped it?

Ask yourself:

Where am I impatient?
Where do I react instead of responding?
Where do I withhold affection?
Where do I compare my spouse to others?

Jesus says in Matthew 7:5 to remove the plank from your own eye first.

Marriage flourishes when two people take responsibility for their inner growth.

4. Practice almsgiving inside the home

We often think of almsgiving as giving money to the poor.

But generosity begins at home.

This Lent, give:

Time without distraction
Listening without interruption
Appreciation without waiting for perfection
Forgiveness without rehearsing the offense

Sometimes the person most in need of your kindness is the one sleeping next to you.

5. Have one intentional lent conversation

Set aside one evening during Lent and ask each other:

What has been heavy on your heart lately?
How can I love you better?
Is there anything I have done that hurt you?
What do you need more of from me?

No defensiveness.
No counter-attacks.
Just listening.

Sometimes marriages don’t break because of betrayal.
They weaken because of neglect.

Lent gives you permission to slow down and repair.

6. Remember the meaning of the cross

Lent leads us to the Cross.

The Cross is not punishment.
It is love expressed through sacrifice.

In marriage:

Sacrifice may mean choosing peace over pride.
It may mean apologizing first.
It may mean supporting your spouse even when tired.
It may mean forgiving, again.

Love is not only a feeling.
It is a daily offering.

Final Reflection: START WITHIN

If both spouses focus on changing the other, nothing moves.
If each spouse focuses on refining themselves, everything shifts.

This Lent, instead of asking:
“What is my spouse doing wrong?”

Ask:
“Lord, what are You refining in me?”

A transformed heart transforms a marriage.

And when two hearts are being refined at the same time, the home becomes holy ground.

TAKE THE NEXT STEP

If this has revealed areas that need healing, growth, or deeper connection in your marriage, do not walk that journey alone.

Sometimes transformation begins with a safe conversation.

At The Couple Binders, we offer intentional coaching sessions designed to help couples: Improve communication, resolve recurring conflicts, rebuild emotional intimacy and align spiritually and practically.

Book a Couple Coaching Session with us today. (+256 702569757)
Let this be the season you start within, together.

Lent is a season of transformation.
Let it transform your marriage too.

Lucy Peace Nantume

Co-founder – The Couple Binders

Lucy is a wife, mother, daughter, and friend striving to serve God with her whole life. She is a lawyer with expertise in human rights. Together with her husband, Ronald Kazibwe, they are passionate about helping couples to thrive in their marriages. They are “The Couple Binders.” Visit their website www.thecouplebinders.com for more details about them and what they do.

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