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Their Wedding, Our Marriage

14 years ago, on a cool morning, Rony and I exchanged our vows inside the special chapel where our love story began, St Augustine Chapel at Makerere University. It had been a journey of friendship that climaxed into a marriage on 1st May, 2010. Looking back, I smile at how the heavens above blessed us. We are indeed God's bits of wood, to some he blesses and others he curses, for us, he blessed.

All the days of my life...

Our day was full of wonders, I still think I caught the sun winking at me. When my father walked me down to the altar on the solo “butterfly kisses” I held tightly at him, not out of fear, but reassurance that I was walking into a beautiful thing. Our vows were full of humour, with bursts of laughter from the church attendees occasionally. Rony and I still joke about the flaw in our vows that should have stated, “till death do us part” but instead read, “all the days of my life”. Literally meaning that even when the other passes on, the one remaining will ride it out.

Our wedding day was seamless. Maybe because we had agreed as a couple that for us it was going to be “their wedding, our marriage.” That grounded us and lessened our expectations for the day. It also gave us an opportunity to share the day with our families and friends. We opened the door for them to dream about what they would love to see on a wedding day at our wedding.

We had already decided as a couple that we would tone down our day so that we don’t burden anyone with picking part of our bills and the bills of our guests on our wedding. It was to be a small wedding, 100 guests, only soft drinks, no bridal entourage and only one vehicle. Our families are large, I still don’t know how we were going to pull that bit off. We chose a garden for the wedding party venue, because it would give us flexibility to adjust the set up to our taste. I was not planning to change from my wedding gown to an evening bridal dress.

Lucy Peace Nantume and Ronald Kazibwe - Our wedding dinner

Their wedding...

Fast forward, we presented this plan to our families – we added that it was also their day and if anyone wanted to change anything about the plan, they would pick the bill.

First, it was my mother in love, to her, one of the highlights of a wedding is the evening bridal dress which the bride changes into for the dinner. She offered that if I would allow to have that added to the day, she would gladly buy it and she would pay for dinner for extra people if we could have the number go up to accommodate more family members. Our marriage, their wedding, we said yes and sealed the “deal” with a hug.

My father in love could not understand how someone can merry make at a wedding without a few beers and some wine – he said the bill was his. My brother in love – Eugene said- “a bride should move like a queen, he hired us 3 Mercedes-Benz. My sister Berna and her husband Owen owned a décor company, they offered to do the décor at a discount. My sister in Love, Stella paid for a rotating cake stand, my husband’s cousin, who operates a company called Events gave us back 75% of the money we had paid him for tents, chairs and tables. My sisters in Love, Prossy, Dr Esther & Doreen offered to serve on our committee that we needed since the guest list had grown to 800 guests.

I kid you not, when we walked into our wedding reception, we had a Congolese band that was a surprise gift from one of my husband’s brothers. Hon. Francis Katabaazi, the member of parliament for Kalungu East Constituency, a brother to one of our dear friends Josephine was another surprise, a free M.C, he gave “vibe” to our wedding party.

On the way to our honeymoon at Mombasa, we kept smiling at God’s sense of humour, from a hundred to one thousand guests wedding and all we spent as our own money was about Ugx 5 Million. We were young, fresh out of University with little to our names. All we had was love, friends, supportive family and God. We didn’t live beyond our means, we still don’t. But we love that couples look beyond their wedding day and focus on their marriage. That is why we started the couple binders. In part, to support young and old

couples preparing for marriage to choose what is important – their marriage and fuss not about the wedding day.

Our advice to couples

We advise that besides the obligatory marital classes given in preparation for the wedding, couples intending to get married identify a couple positive about marriage, to educate them about marriage even before they set a wedding date. We did this and it enriched our dating.

Marriage was blessed by God. It has principles on which it is founded and should be run. If couples choose to do it right, God’s graces are abundant to help them through all seasons. After all, we are still his bits of wood.

Lucy Peace Nantume

Lucy is a wife, mother, daughter, and friend striving to serve God with her whole life. She is a lawyer with expertise in human rights. Together with her husband, Ronald Kazibwe, they are passionate about helping couples to thrive in their marriages. They are “The Couple Binders.” Visit their website www.thecouplebinders.com for more details about them and what they do.

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