Women Shouldn’t Have to Choose Between Career and Family

This thought has been on my heart, and it grew louder during the Annual General Assembly of the Association of Female Lawyers of Uganda (FIDA–Uganda), where I have had the honor of serving as Board Vice Chairperson for the past three years. Sitting in a room full of brilliant female lawyers; some young, some seasoned, some even serving as judges, I couldn’t help but reflect on the silent struggles of women who have felt forced to choose: advancing in their careers or stepping back to prioritize family life.

Some have taken the bold step to focus fully on family, and I deeply respect that choice. Marriage and parenthood are among the most noble callings. If dedicating oneself fully to those roles is what brings fulfillment, then it is absolutely the best path. But I also firmly believe that women should not be forced into an either/or scenario. With sufficient support from their spouses, workplaces, and society, women can thrive, find joy, and be successful both at home and in their professional pursuits.

During our honeymoon, we received unexpected news: I had been offered a scholarship to pursue a Master of Laws degree abroad which I had applied for before the wedding. It was our very first tough decision as a couple. After weighing everything, we agreed that I should take the opportunity. Months later, as I reported for the program, I was heavily pregnant.

That season tested the very foundation of our partnership. My husband adjusted his schedules so that when our child arrived (through a C-section), he was there to receive the baby, care for me, and keep our little family afloat while I recovered. That kind of practical, sacrificial support made it possible for me to pursue advanced education without abandoning my role as wife and mother.

In our home, house chores are exactly that - chores - not gender roles. We have intentionally aligned our lives so that we are both able to succeed in our careers, while also thriving as a couple, as parents, and in the other roles we carry. Of course, sacrifices have been made along the way, but never based on who is the man or who is the woman. Instead, our decisions have been shaped by love, practicality, and a shared vision for flourishing together.

This is why I am convinced: women should not have to choose between career and family. When there is a supportive spouse, when workplaces and communities create room for women to thrive in all aspects, when roles are viewed as shared rather than fixed by gender, both can be achieved.

Still, this isn’t only about personal stories. Many women don’t have supportive spouses, or they face workplaces that punish them for being mothers. Society must step up. Workplaces must rethink policies to make it possible for women to succeed in both areas without being penalised for example offering flexible schedules, maternity and paternity leave, and mentorship opportunities. Communities must shed the judgment that labels ambitious women as neglectful wives or mothers.

It’s not a matter of juggling between home and work in some fragile “balance.” It’s about creating conditions that allow women to thrive wholly. To be fulfilled in their family life while also flourishing in their careers.

This very tension: roles, responsibilities, and shared thriving, is at the heart of our upcoming Couple Binders conversation: “His Role, Her Role, Our Role.”

📅 Date: Friday, 26th September
🌍 Where: Online
💬 To receive the link, inbox me on +256 702 569 757

We’ll be digging deeper into how couples can intentionally design partnerships that allow both husband and wife to flourish not just in marriage, but in their wider callings too.

I know not every woman’s story looks like mine. But I also know this: no woman should ever feel forced to abandon her dreams to honour her family or sacrifice her family to chase her career. With intentional support from spouses, enabling workplace structures, and a society that values wholeness, women can indeed thrive in all aspects of life.

And when women thrive, so do families. So do workplaces. So does the nation.